KFC and All Fried Chicken

well it didnt embarasse me but my son was singing a song for my mother… he was under 3… He had been riding in the car with dad over the weekend… He was singing a song he had heard with his daddy…. WELL.. my mother figured out what he was saying.. He was “head banging” and singing.. What the fk.. what the fk….. turns out that dad was playing a cd (and I cant remembe the band sorry) that one of the songs has a line in it… If I say fk 2 more times, that will be (some number I think 47) fks in this fkd up rhyme…. I bout died laughing

My oldest was a little more than 2 years old when his Great Grandma died. We were at the funeral service at the funeral home and the priest read something from his book and when he was done he closed it. My son pipes up, rather loudly, “The end!” Even with a sad occasion, most everyone there stiffled a little laugh and his Grandma turned around and smiled at him.

My daughter was going to take modeling and acting classes. She was about 6 or 7. We sat down with the director, my daughter put her elbows on the desk, looked right at the director and said,

“So, how long before I’ll get my own tv show??”

Me and my daughter, who was 3 at the time had to use the bathroom at a local restaurant. There was this lady who had bad gas or something in the stall next to us. My daughter said in the loudest voice ever. Man Mommy, we need to get out of her because she is going to stink this place up so bad we might die. I have never left the restroom without washing our hands, but I made an exception that time. Thankfully I had hand wipes in my purse. We left very shortly after that. When I go back to this restaurant, I still think of what she said and I still get a laugh from it.

My in-laws (whom I don’t particularly like) were over when my daughter was about 4, and she says to them “My momma said she doesnt like to go to your house because it smells like a wet dog.” Mom-in-law looks at me and says “She did, did she?” I could do nothing but smile at her. What would you say? I did say that…. Because daughter asked me why I dont like to go to in-laws, and it was the most polite reason I could tell a child.

My fiancee was living with me and my son. I had been divorced from my son’s dad for 4 years.

One day the phone rang, and my son being 6 was learning how to answer the phone. So he says “hello, ******* residence”. The guy on the other end must have asked “Is your daddy there?”

My son says, “No, but my mom’s boyfriend is.”

We all died laughing.

Our family went out to eat one time and we were in line behind this guy.He was really tall and had a big ****.Well my three year old seen him and he said really loud “Mom,look at that big ****!!”

When my son was about 5, we were walking through the grocery store when this ‘lady’ walked by wearing very high heels and very short, tight skirt. He pointed and said “Mom, is that a hooker?” - and you know how that echos in stores. I just grabbed his hand and walked away while everyone (except her) was rolling in the isles.